


Love and War on Death's Door

by Silverdrift



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Grumpy boy and his precious cinnamon roll, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Spoilers, Mutual Pining, Post-Time Skip, blue lions - Freeform, clumsy kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverdrift/pseuds/Silverdrift
Summary: Felix is far to proud to admit his feelings. Ashe is too scared of losing Felix’s friendship to admit his. One time skip and a near death experience later, not much has changed except Mercedes being tired of Felix’s crap.





	Love and War on Death's Door

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I haven’t completed a fic in two friggen years and finally, FINALLY was able to break through the writer’s block! So I'm a bit rusty, but I hope you enjoy my offering to the wonderousness that is FE:3H.

In his days at the academy, which he only willingly attended to get away from that damned fool he was forced to call his father, Felix spent most of his time in the training grounds or in his room. He had no desire to be friendly with the others in his class. If he could have spent the entire year training and getting stronger, without the distractions and annoyances of the others, he might have actually been happy. That, however, would never be the case. Among his classmates was Ashe, whom Felix wished he could say he hated with every fiber of his being. Unfortunately, that could have been further from the truth. Felix fell for the archer rather quickly in fact, due to the sheer passion and drive he had to do what he believed in. He would never admit these feelings of course. After all, love wouldn’t make him stronger. It wouldn’t sharpen his blade or fell his enemies. If anything, it would make him weak. Careless. Things he cared not to be… but love was not so easily drowned out. So, he struggled inwardly, in silence, lashing out at anyone that even remotely suggested that he was acting differently. Well… almost anyone. 

Intimidated by the swordsman’s cold, prickly front, it took Ashe a while to realize that Felix cared more that he let on. After the death of his adoptive father, it was Felix that was there to pull him out of that fog of sadness he had found himself in. If he need help with an assignment, Felix usually stepped up to help. One time he swore that he saw Felix blush after Ashe insisted on cooking for him as a way of thanks. Sure, often times the responses Ashe received from the other man were short, a bit sarcastic and abrasive even… but he had learned to see passed that. After all, Ashe never once saw that harsh nature reach those hazel eyes. Before the young archer knew what had happened… Ashe found himself head over heels for Felix. He could never tell this to the other though. Just the thought that Felix might be angry or that it would ruin their friendship after how much work went into it killed him inside. Ashe couldn’t lose him… so he never said a word.

Now the rest of their companions, even the rather unobservant ones, could see the romantic tension between the two from a mile away. No one was brave enough to say a word of it to Felix. Except Sylvain, but after nearly losing his life over it, he decided not to bring it up again. Ashe received an infinite amount of good-natured teasing to make up for it though. The two never did admit anything to each other, even with the war dragging them all apart. It seemed as though they would not get the chance to clear the tension between them and no one regretted that more than Felix. 

Five years came and went in a blur, finally grinding to what felt like a halt as Felix looked up at the ruins of Garreg Mach. They had all vowed to meet up back here on this day… but with everything that had happened, he doubted anyone else was here. He wasn’t even sure why he was here. Perhaps it was due to the rumors of a blood thirsty killer that had taken up residence here. A foe with such a reputation was surely worth crossing swords with. Maybe it was just a stop on his way to fight the empire. It was on the way after all. However, that tightening in his chest and quickened heartbeat whispered the truth he refused to face. A frustrated growl left his throat as he pushed himself forward, taking the steps two at a time as if trying to outrun his own thoughts yet again. That’s when a familiar sound hit his ears. The intoxicating sounds of metal on metal and the cries of combat, causing his steps to quicken. Those yells were unmistakable. How many battles had he spent in their presence, adding his own voice to the chorus of death that the Blue Lions brought to the battle field? It seemed as if they had come after all.

Now, Felix hated clichés almost as much as he hated the concept of a ‘true knight’. Yet, when his eyes found Ashe, cut off from the rest of the group with a sword in his hand and a broken bow on his back, something inside him snapped. As if moved by an invisible and unstoppable force, he sprinted toward him, his mind focused only on getting to the silver-haired archer before it was too late. His own blade cleaved through anything that dare stand in his way until he was close enough to grab Ashe, pinning him to a near by wall as the near by bandit Archers all fired. 

“F-Felix?” Ashe stammered, shocked and a bit flustered to be in this position. Everything seemed to slow down for a moment, letting a small feeling of relief wash over him that not only was Felix alive… but he was here. That relief faded in an instant, replaced by sheer panic as pain took over Felix’s normally stoic expression and he dropped to his knees. Three poisoned arrows protruded from his back, but one had managed to hit at an angle and gone deep enough to have punctured a lung at the very least. Anger swelled in his chest as he picked up his sword and rushed forward, taking out the rather startled Archers in a few concise swings. Once the immediate danger was gone, Ashe sheathed his weapon and rushed back to the man that had taken the hit for him. “Felix! H-hold on, I’ll get you to Mercedes.”

“Leave… me, you damn fool…” Felix wheezed, glaring up at Ashe as he pulled the arrows out carefully to keep more poison from seeping into the wounds and struggled to help him up his feet. “You will g… get yourself killed…”

“I won’t leave you.” Ashe replied stubbornly, finally finding a half way decent position to support Felix. 

“Tch…” That was as much of an argument as he was able to muster, deciding that if Ashe was going to be so adamant about this, he needed to save his strength in case he needed to fight again but breathing was becoming more difficult with each step, and his vision was starting to get blurry. Soon enough, he collapsed, dragging Ashe down as well due to his inability to support Felix’s dead weight. “D-dammit… Just go. No… no reason for both of us to die.”

“N-no! You can’t die... Please, Felix, don’t say things like that.” Ashe stood slowly, trembling as he tried his best to find a way to be able to carry him to no avail. Tears stung his eyes and panic rose in his chest as he carefully laid Felix’s head and shoulders in his lap to help with his breathing. Felix opened his mouth to say something, but nothing but the sounds of his labored breathing came out. Instead, he slowly lifted his hand to brush Ashe’s hair from his face, a small smile tugging up the corners of his lips. It was a nice moment, but when Ashe felt Felix go limp, he couldn’t stop the tears. “No! No no no Felix please, I-“ Suddenly the sound of a horse riding up behind him cause him to snap his head up. “Sylvain! F-felix he…” he couldn’t even finish the thought as the redheaded paladin jumped down to help, a look of worry on his face.

“Is… is he still breathing?” 

“I-I…” Ashe leaned down to listen a moment, “y-yes, but not very well.”

Sylvain just let out a sigh of relief and carefully lifted the limp swordsman out of Ashe’s lap, cracking a small smile as he got him up on his horse. “Figures he’d go and nearly get himself killed like this.” His tone said joking, but his expression seemed to scream there was truth behind it. “Come on, Mercie is going to want to hear what happened.” 

Ashe got to his feet with a nod, following along behind Sylvain without a word.

\---

When the sensation of light was the first thing to hit him, Felix wondered if he had actually died and go to a goddess he never truly believed in. Soon after though, the next sensation hit him and told him he was very much still alive. Pain. Nothing too drastic, just a severe soreness, but it covered every inch of his body. With a groan, he opened his eyes, looking around. It seemed he was in the Garreg Mach infirmary. He had spent many days here, though it looked drastically different now. For one, there was rubble everywhere, the shelves were in disarray, the normally plentiful supplies where scarce… but the biggest difference was not a part of the infirmary at all… it was the silver-haired archer, asleep in a chair beside the bed. He looked peaceful, curled up so that he was sitting sideways and leaned over against the back of the chair, softly snoring due to the slightly odd angle of his neck. Felix's face softened, glad that all this pain wasn’t for naught. Sure, the man had a few scratches and bruises, but otherwise he was alright and looked rather peaceful. It was a sight he could become lost in. So lost in it that he didn’t even hear Mercedes come in until she spoke.

“It is good to see you awake, Felix. We were all very worried.” She finally said with a smile, focusing on gathering her supplies to tend his wounds. 

Felix jumped some and looked over at her with a small scowl, not realizing that she had already see that soft stare. “It’s going to take more than a couple of archers to kill me.”

“Of course.” She giggled, a knowing expression on her face. When he thought she had looked away, she noticed that he yet again directed his gaze to Ashe. “He hasn’t left, you know. Why, I think this is the first time I’ve seen him asleep since we brought you here almost four days ago.”

“Four days?” Felix echoed, forcing himself to look at Mercedes so she wouldn’t ask questions. 

“Yes. Your wounds were no trouble, but that poison was quite potent.” She explained as he slowly helped him sit up so she could remove the bandages. “If Sylvain hadn’t found you and Ashe, I… I don’t care to think what might have happened.”

Felix made a small hum of acknowledgment, followed by a hiss as she started cleaning the wounds. “He wasn’t hurt, was he?”

“Ashe? He had some minor things that magic was able to take care of, but nothing too bad.” 

“Hmph. Good. If he had been after I went through the trouble to save him, I would have been annoyed.” While his tone was as abrasive as ever, Mercedes of all people knew that it was just his way of caring. She finished up the cleaning and rebandaged him, getting up to put things a way. 

“Felix… I know you don’t really want to hear this, but you really should be honest with him. And yourself.”

“What are you prattling on about?”

“Ashe, of course. You need to tell him how you feel.”

“I already told Sylvain-“ He started angrily, only to be cut off by her turning to face him with *that* look.

“I know what you told Sylvain. I also know that you use your anger to lash out when you feel vulnerable. We have all known for years and quite frankly, I’m tired of seeing you both hurting because you are too proud and he is too scared of losing you.” 

Silence. 

Finally, after he recovered from the initial shock of having been seen through and scolded, Felix looked at the blankets in his lap with a scowl. “Whatever…”

Mercedes just smiled, knowing he was relenting, and headed toward the door. “I’ll be back around dinner. Make sure you get plenty of rest!” 

And as suddenly as she had shown up, she was gone. Felix stayed where he was, eyes fixed on the uninteresting white blanket as Mercedes's words echoed in his head. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should tell him. If for no other reason than he found the regret of not telling him irritating. Suddenly his reverie was interrupted by a startled yelp and a thud, causing him to turn his head quickly to look at Ashe. Of course, he winced when he did, his body scream at him for the sudden movement, but his concern outweighed the pain. Felix watched quietly for a moment before speaking up, seeing as Ashe hadn’t looked over yet. “You OK?”

“Yes. I guess I dozed off and-“ Ashe cut himself off and looked up at who at spoken to him, a look of relief washing over him. ”Felix… you’re awake!”

“Obviously.” Felix turned his head away again and slowly laid back down, eyes lingering on the ceiling. “Why are you sleeping in that chair? You have a room you know.”

As he was taken aback not only by the question (seriously? How was he suppose to answer that without giving himself away?) But also by how devoid of Felix's prickliness that question was. “I… well. I was worried about you. I wanted to make sure you’d be alright.”

“For four days? You couldn’t have just asked about me or stopped by?” 

“Oh… I guess you talked to Mercedes…” Ashe trailed off, slowly dragging himself back into the chair. After a moment of fidgeting with his hands, he looked back toward Felix. “I suppose I had to make sure… b-but I have a question for you too! Why did you...”

“Why did I save you? Is that what you are about to ask me?” Now Felix's tone was getting aggressive, but it didn’t seem to be directed at Ashe. If anything it seemed to be directed more toward himself. 

“Y… Yes. I am grateful, don’t get me wrong… but… I could have…”

“Because I couldn’t stand to watch you die. Ok? If one of us was losing our life in that battle, it was going to be me. Because you… you…” 

To say Ashe was surprised was an understatement. Not only had he never heard Felix so adamant about a specific person not dying… but now he was startling to get flustered and blushy. The sight made his own cheeks to take on a red hue, though he wasn’t sure why. 

“Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me…”

Silence again. 

Felix closed his eyes a moment and took a breath. It seemed there was no way out of this now. His whole body trembled, though he did his best to hide the perceived weakness from Ashe. “I know it was stupid. But you aren’t as good with the sword as the bow and you were out numbered. I did what I could think of. That’s all.” No matter how much he tried to make it sound nonchalant, there was still a wavering to his tone. 

“But Felix, even with Sylvain you-“

“Why does everyone want to bring up Sylvain today?! This has nothing to do with Sylvain!” 

“S-sorry…”

Felix looked over and felt like someone one had punched him in the chest when he saw that dejected look upon Ashe's face. “L-look I…” he trailed off, cursing under his breath followed by a sigh. “Sorry. I’m not trying to… If you had… I can’t…” Each time words failed him, he got more and more frustrated, the irritation in his expression clashing with the obvious blush on his face. This was so far outside his comfort zone it physically hurt. To show this more vulnerable and emotional side of himself, especially to Ashe, was probably the hardest thing he had ever done and the fact that he couldn’t just spit it out drove him to just hiding his face in his hands with a growl.

Ashe slowly got up and walked over beside the bed, concerned that something was actually wrong. He had never seen Felix like this. Part of him wanted to say that it was because of his injuries or lingering effects of the poison… but there was that hopeful part of him that hoped that was a blush on his face and not a fever. “Felix?” he asked softly, not expecting any sort of real response. Imagine his surprise when, in lieu of a verbal answer, Felix just grabbed him by the sides of the face and kissed him. It was brief, a bit clumsy… but it was enough. The other man quickly looked away again, his entire face now a deep red right up to his ears and an embarrassed expression to go with it. Ashe stood there, completely still and dumbstruck for what he was sure was forever, trying to process what just happened before he finally stuttered out a response. “H-h-huh?”

“You are slow on the uptake, aren’t you?” Felix growled, still blushing like mad and not looking at Ashe.

“I-I just never expected you to… t-that… I…”

“Look. I needed to get it off my chest. You don’t have to accept it or anything. I don’t care.” He huffed, snapping his head up when Ashe started laughing. That unmistakable laugh that had Felix’s stomach all fluttery every time he heard it. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing at all, I’m just so… happy. I couldn’t help it.” Ashe admitted, a soft smile on his face. “I know I’m… I’m nothing special. I never thought in a million years that you’d-“

“Stop.” Felix cut him off, his voice gentler than usual as he finally managed to look over at him. “I have never let anyone else speak ill of you, you are no exception.” Thankfully that seemed to put and end to it and he slowly shifted closer to the wall, making space next to him. “Just… come here. Mercedes keeps it too cold in here… and this is your fault anyway.” 

Ashe gave a small blush, but it was overshadowed by that bright smile and cheerful laugh. He didn’t think it wasn’t cold at all, especially not too cold for Felix… but who was he argue? It was his fault after all!


End file.
